Epstein Arranged Marriage Survey (EAMS)

©2009-2011, Dr. Robert Epstein  v. 2.0

Thank you for taking part in this important research study on arranged marriage. The study is being conducted by Dr. Robert Epstein, a research scientist who studies interpersonal relationships. It is part of ongoing research in which Dr. Epstein is attempting to learn how feelings grow and change over time. The point of the research is to uncover methods for improving counseling and therapy and perhaps for improving the success of all romantic relationships.

You can learn more about Dr. Epstein's work at DrEpstein.com.

In this survey, we will first ask you a few basic things about yourself and your spouse and then some questions about how your relationship has changed over time. All information collected here will be kept strictly confidential. If you are uncomfortable answering certain questions, feel free to skip them. The survey should take you between 15 and 20 minutes to complete.

If you would like to receive a copy of a report that summarizes the results of this research when that report is made public, we would be happy to provide it. Please indicate your desire to receive this report where asked to do so below.

Again, thank you very much for your participation.

*Your name:  Your spouse's name:  Mailing address:  Phone number:  *Email address:  If we have some follow-up questions, may we contact you (yes or no)?  What is the best way to contact you (phone or email)?  *Your age:  Your spouse's age:  *Your country of birth:  *Your spouse's country of birth:  *Your religion:  *Your spouse's religion:  How did you hear about this study?
Highest Degree: None High School Associates Bachelors Masters Doctorate	Race/Ethnicity: White Black Hispanic Asian American Indian Other	*Gender: Male Female	Spouse's Gender: Male Female

Research report:
Yes, please email me a copy of your research report when it is completed.
No, there is no need to send me your report.

Anonymity:
Yes, you may use my real name in your study.
No, do not use my real name in your study.

Media participation:
Yes, I would be interested in talking about my arranged marriage on radio or television at some point in the future.
No, I would not be interested in talking about my arranged marriage on radio or television at any point in the future.

Is arranged marriage common in your culture?
Yes
No

Are both you and your spouse of your culture?
Yes
No

If not, can you please tell us about the differences?


How long have you been married? year(s)  month(s)

How long did you know each other before you were married? year(s) month(s)

How much contact did you have before you were married?


Please tell us how your marriage was arranged:


Who did the arranging?


How did you feel being in an arranged marriage?


Why did you think your spouse was a good match for you at the time you were married?


Number of children you have had with your spouse: 

Number of grandchildren you have had with your spouse:  

Number of great grandchildren you have had with your spouse:  

How attracted were you to your spouse when you first met him/her?
Not at all   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  Quite a lot

Can you give us any further details?


How in love were you with your spouse when you got married?
Not at all   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  Quite a lot

Can you give us any further details?


When, roughly, did you fall in love with your spouse?
I was already in love at the time of marriage.
About year(s) and month(s) after we were married.

Can you tell us, roughly speaking, how you managed to fall in love with your spouse? What you can remember about this process?


How did the following events or factors affect the love you have for your spouse?

    Having or raising children with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Being comforted by your spouse when you were in distress:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Being in a frightening or dangerous situation with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Being in a situation in which your spouse protected or rescued you or others:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Seeing your spouse make sacrifices for you:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Participating in fun, exciting, or vigorous activities with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Being physically near your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Seeing your spouse frequently:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having many common interests with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Looking into your spouse's eyes:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse pay special attention to you:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Sharing secrets with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Sharing humor and laughter with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Doing something new with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Doing something with your spouse that's sometimes prohibited or forbidden:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Going on vacations with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Drinking an alcoholic beverage with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Being in stressful situations with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse hold or touch you in a caring way:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having physical intimacy with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse encourage you or express confidence in you:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse compliment you:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Kind or thoughtful acts by your spouse toward you:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Acts of kindness of generosity by your spouse toward other people, organizations, or the community:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse express appreciation or gratitude to you:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse change his or her behavior to accommodate your needs or wishes:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Facing a tragedy with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse provide a good income and standard of living for you and your children:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Being able to communicate well with your spouse:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse forgive you or apologize to you:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Expressing strong commitment for each other:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Participating in counseling or therapy sessions:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Receiving guidance or support from parents:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Receiving guidance or support from other family members, friends, or others:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Having your spouse help you cope with or recover from a sickness or injury:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Helping your spouse cope with or recover from a sickness or injury:
    Decreased love   -6  -5  -4  -3  -2  -1  0  +1  +2  +3  +4  +5  +6     Increased love

    Other event(s) or factor(s) that may have increased your love:
   

   Please give us further details, if possible, regarding any of events or factors listed above.
   

Did your love grow gradually, or did it grow suddenly? 

Please explain.


What kind of love would you say you have? Is it the romantic kind of love that we see in Hollywood movies, or is it different somehow?


How in love are you with your spouse now?
Not at all   1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  A great deal

How good is your relationship with your spouse?
Poor 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  Excellent

If you would like to share any anecdotes that you feel would shed light on the special nature of your marriage, please do so here:


Is there anything further you would like to tell us about arranged marriage?